Picture it: You spend hours crafting a proposal. Thinking through the right approach, writing, making sure every detail is perfect. You hit “send” and wait. Days go by. Weeks. Nothing.
Or maybe you clear your calendar for an important meeting, only to have it canceled five minutes before it starts—with no explanation or apology.
Sound familiar? Sadly, we’re seeing this more and more. Last-minute cancellations, ghosting, and one-line rejection emails have become common. And here’s the thing: these behaviors don’t just feel rude—they send a message: “Your time and effort don’t matter to me.”
Here’s the Problem
Time and effort are two things we can never get back. When someone invests them, whether by preparing for a meeting, creating a proposal, or contributing ideas, they’re giving you something valuable. Ignoring that investment erodes trust and damages relationships.
And it’s not just about feelings. Poor communication trends like ghosting or dismissive responses have real consequences. They create frustration, disengagement, and even resentment. Over time, these behaviors weaken collaboration and tarnish reputations.
The Ripple Effect
- On Individuals: When people feel their work isn’t valued, motivation drops. They’re less likely to go the extra mile next time.
- On Organizations: Disrespectful communication can cost opportunities. A talented vendor or partner who feels undervalued may walk away. Clients and colleagues notice when courtesy is missing—it reflects on your brand.
What Good Looks Like
Small, intentional actions can show you value someone’s contribution. For example:
- Thoughtful Declines: Take declining a proposal, for example. A one-line “We’ve decided to go in a different direction” feels abrupt and dismissive. Instead, try something like this:
“Thank you for the time and effort you put into this proposal. We can see the thought and detail that went into your work, and we truly appreciate it. After careful consideration, we’ve decided to move forward in a different direction because [insert reason—budget, priorities, timing]. We hope to stay connected and explore opportunities to collaborate in the future.”
You see — a few extra sentences can turn a rejection into a relationship-building moment.
- Timely Responses: Even if you don’t have an answer yet, acknowledge the effort:
“I’ve received your report and need some time to review. I’ll follow up by Friday.”
- Respectful Scheduling: Emergencies happen, but last-minute cancellations should be rare. If you must cancel, apologize, explain why, and reschedule promptly.
Some Additional Tips for Thoughtful Communication
- Respond—even when the answer is “no.” Silence isn’t neutral; it’s damaging.
- Say thank you. A simple “thank you for your time and effort” goes a long way.
- Communicate early and clearly about changes. Don’t leave people guessing.
- Treat every interaction as an opportunity to build trust. Courtesy compounds over time.
Take the time to show people their time and work matter. In a world that moves fast, courtesy is an advantage.
When you value peoples’ efforts, you strengthen relationships.
Michael Piperno is a communication coach and executive presence expert. His insights empower leaders to communicate effectively and authentically.